47: The Road

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Synopsis
Weary of his humdrum life -- and hearing the details of Carol`s (Julie Bowen) impending marriage to Dennis (John Slattery) -- Ed (Tom Cavanagh) volunteers to accompany a habitual traveler (guest star Eric Thal) on the road to wherever in the vain hope of finding peace and freedom. Back at Stuckeyville, Carol chafes at Dennis` passive control of her wedding-day preferences, which include conducting the nuptials on a remote mountaintop. Nancy (JanaMarie Hupp) begins as a high school guidance counselor but her idealism is tested by an aimless slacker (guest start Jacob Pitts) who becomes her pet project. At the bowling alley, Phil (Michael Ian Black) challenges Eli (Daryl "Chill" Mitchell) to a game of hoops for the right to occupy Ed`s office in his temporary absence.

Overview
Ed claims to be completely over the whole Carol thing. He meets a mysterious stranger, Frank, who camps out in Stuckeybowl`s parking lot, and later convinces Frank to take him on the road with him. Ed lasts only 36 hours before returning to Stuckeyville, realizing at last he can`t just run away. Dennis tells Nancy she can have the high school guidance counselor job if she can convince Stuckeyville High slacker Johnny to go to class. She employs every technique she can think of, showing Johnny graphs, introducing him to a `homeless man` (played by Mike), and hurling his skateboard around. Despite her best efforts, she fails. Dennis gives her the job anyway, telling her he just wanted to give her a taste of what life as a guidance counselor is all about. Carol and Dennis embark on their wedding planning journey. Carol, who has always dreamed of getting married on Mt. Precipice, realizes it is impractical to get married up there. She makes several wedding decisions, but finds that Dennis isn`t quite on the same page, and gets very upset with his "bullying". She later realizes that he`s not being as bad as she thinks, that she`s the one who has pre-wedding jitters. Phil and Eli take their battle of wills (and a battle for Ed`s office while he`s away) to the basketball court, where Phil decides Eli`s wheelchair is an unfair advantage. Phil gets into a wheelchair himself and hires a physical therapist to push him around the court. When even that fails, he rigs up a wheelchair as tall as the basket. Eli won`t even entertain the thought of a game, and Phil declares victory by forfeit.

Songs "On The Road Again" - Willie Nelson Ed goes on the road to `escape`. Trivia Ten Bucks After a rousing discussion on how male ostriches impress females, Mike bets Ed ten bucks to impress a woman at the bus stop, using his best ostrich impression. Ed goes up to the woman, rests on what he supposes are his hocks, flaps his "wings" and screams like a banshee. Stubbs Schemes Phil challenges Eli to a basketball duel over Ed`s office, while the vacationing Bosco is away. After unclaiming Eli has an unfair advantage, being able to sit during the entire game, Phil tries a wheelchair for himself. He later hires a physical therapist, Irene, and eventually builds himself a very tall wheelchair in order to gain an advantage. Fine Food and Drink Ed orders an apple martini, which he points out he can`t get on the road, although Dennis points out that he certainly can get one on the road. Molly compares Dennis to bunchberries and bayberries, while Carol prefers to think of him as a plum or nectarine. Molly and Carol mull over fish stick Friday and Macaroni Monday. Ed hungrily eats some eggs at a local Stuckeyville eatery before heading off on his road trip and later offers Frank jerky.

Quotes "I'm done with the whole thing." - Ed Stevens (re his feelings about Carol) "I'm thrilled you seem to have gotten over Carol. I'm concerned that you seem to have fallen in love with a man." - Dr. Mike Burton (on Ed`s fascination with Frank) "Look at him squirm now that the chair's on the other foot...or should I say ass?" - Phil Stubbs (when Eli sees him pull up in a wheelchair) "Give me a call when you get out of Stuckeyville." - Dr. Mike Burton (to a road-tripping Ed) "I've enjoyed a lot of victories in my life but for some reason, this one is particularly sweet." - Phil Stubbs (on Eli`s forfeit) "I didn't find happiness on the road...I was happy before I left." - Frank (to Ed, who wants to know why Frank travels like he does) Pop Culture References Greek mythology International Basketball Federation Hummels KOA Cliff`s Notes "BJ and the Bear" Green Acres Tony Hawk (X Games) Sylvia Plath