32: Small Town Guys

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Synopsis
ED FINDS OUT THAT ALL`S FAIR IN LOVE & WAR -- AND LAW; JAY THOMAS GUEST-STARS -- Ed (Tom Cavanagh) gladly represents a lovable loser (guest star Shuler Hensley) who is sued by a woman for breach of privacy after she rejected his romantic overtures and found her photo posted on his web site -- but the case is unduly complicated when a renowned lawyer (guest star Jay Thomas, "Love & War") with his own agenda asks to partner with Ed. Elsewhere, Mike (Josh Randall) finally gives vent to his full emotions about Dr. Jerome (guest star Martin Chatinover) when the older man betrays him. In addition, Warren (Justin Long) mistakenly believes that the way to Jessica`s (guest star Robin Paul) heart is to become the school buffoon. Julie Bowen, Jana Marie Hupp, Lesley Boone, Michael Ian Black, Michael Starr and Rachel Cronin also star.

Overview
Ed agrees to help Bob Arnowicz, a local Staples clerk, who is being sued over his website, which tells the tales of all the women who have rejected him. A big shot Court TV attorney wants to deliberately lose the case all the way to the Supreme Court, setting the stage for a landmark decision on free speech and the internet. In the end, Ed takes back the case during closing arguments, a mistrial is declared, and the plaintiffs drop the case. Warren discovers his ability to make Jessica and her friends laugh when he drops food in his lap at lunch time. He hits on the idea to become the class clown, to which Jessica seems to respond. When Warren asks her for a date, she rejects him. Finally, Warren thanks her for not going out with him and tells her she belongs with the FosCat crowd. A stunned and somewhat hurt Jessica then asks Warren out. Mike is shocked to hear that Dr. Jerome will not be retiring as planned. He is unable to quit due to his contract with Dr. Jerome, and decides to annoy Dr. Jerome into firing him. Nancy convinces him he doesn`t want to end their working relationship in that manner, and he and Dr. Jerome shoot pool, having something of a heart to heart, at the end of which, Dr. Jerome lets Mike go.

Songs "Freedom" - George Michael Nancy plays this in Mike`s office prematurely. "Oh, What A Beautiful Morning" - Ray Charles While Warren does his Miss Vessey impression. Trivia Ten Bucks Mike bets Ed ten bucks he can`t get a Stuckeybowl patron to say "tater tots" in 30 seconds or less. Despite Ed`s best effort, it takes 32 seconds, and the ten buck streak is ended. (Ed is still up $50) Legal Update Ed co-counsels with a big shot Court TV lawyer on behalf of Bob Arnowicz. Bob has been posting his exploits with rejections by women on the internet, and last month got half a million hits. One of the women who rejected him is suing for $50,000 over invasion of privacy. Court TV attorney Gary Saringo has different plans--deliberately losing all the way to the Supreme court to make this a landmark case about free speech on the internet. Initially, Bob wants Saringo, but in court, seeing his method, he asks Ed to step in for a closing argument. Ed`s closing statement causes a courtroom brouhaha, and a mistrial is declared. However, the prosecuting attorney knows from Ed`s statement that the plaintiff has no case. Ed assures Bob there will be no trial. Ed`s record as an attorney is now 16-8 with 5 settlements and 1 incomplete. Stubbs Schemes Phil picks up a book on body language and decides he can read people by their posture, facial expressions, etc. He guesses that Ed is Dutch and that Gary Saringo owns a hamster, both of which are of course incorrect. Nicknames Joanne Clemson dubs Bob Arnowitz "Captain Staples" when he asks her out. Warren introduces his friend "Mr. Belly", a character drawn on his stomach, which cracks Jessica up. A disgruntled Mike calls Dr. Jerome "Wally" and "Tiny." Gary Saringo calls Stuckeyville "Stickeyville". Fine Food and Drink While Ed is tending bar, a patron asks for a bourbon. Ed attempts to get this man to say "tater tots", but all he initially comes up with are french fries and string beans. Warren compliments Jakey on his super giant corn chips before dumping mozarella sticks in his own lap. Mark and Diane prepare tortillas and peppers in Spanish club. Shirley offers Gary Saringo a corn dog. Mike wants to celebrate his freedom with champagne and caviar. Nancy brings Mike Steak-ums. Warren invites Jessica to Starbucks for a latte, mochachino, or Tiazi. Dr. Jerome compares playing pool to "pickin` chicken".

Quotes "Day-o! Day-o! Thursday come, no more Dr. Jerome." - Dr. Mike Burton (singing to celebrate Dr. J`s retirement) "Ed, celebrity super lawyer Gary Saringo is here to see Mr. Arnowitz... He's at the shoe counter talking to Phil about domesticated rodents." - Shirley Pifko () "I've never found you funny." - Mark Vanacore (when Warren announces his intention to become class clown) "Clown it up." - Diane Snyder (when Warren pursues his plans, despite her objections) "Don't hate the playa, hate the game!" - Warren Cheswick (to a disgruntled Diane) "Mr. Schrier, you're being treated by a 96 year old squid." - Dr. Mike Burton (trying to get Dr. Jerome to fire him) "You scared the Steak-ums out of me!" - Nancy Burton (reacting to Mike`s Dr. Jerome head gear) "I just thought since that buffalo-brained husband of yours wasn't here, you'd like to get it on with one Dr. Walter Jerome." - Dr. Mike Burton (hitting on Nancy while in costume) "If it's any consolation at all, I think you look damn cute in the bowling shirts." - Carol Vessey (when Ed laments the fact that Bob went with the lawyer in the slick suit) "What law school did you go to TV boy?" - Judge LaRue (reprimanding Gary Saringo) "Warren, do you want to go to the movies sometime?" - Jessica Martell (in the bowling alley) Pop Culture References Lonnie Anderson Staples (office supply store) Court TV Johnnie Cochran Judge Wapner "Who`s Line Is It Anyway?" Animal Farm by George Orwell Norman Rockwell The Star Spangled Banner Starbucks Playboy Earl Anthony (professional bowler) "Dick Webber" (professional bowler) Sir Isaac Newton Rick Springfield