14: Valentine`s Day

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Synopsis
Ed`s in no mood for love when Bonnie doesn`t respect him "the morning after." Alhough she awakens in Ed`s bed, frosty Bonnie hurts the bowling-alley lawyer`s feelings when she doesn`t act much like a lover. To complicate matters, Ed shares the intimate details with long-time crush Carol, whose emotions run the gamut from jealousy to righteous indignation. Worse yet, Ed and Carol involve Molly, who has become frustrated with being their confidante. Ed also agrees to represent a dedicated reverend (guest star Charles Dutton, "Roc") whose church president wants to terminate him after 30 years because he feels the clergyman`s preaching style is outdated. Elsewhere in Stuckeyville, enterprising Phil (Michael Ian Black) launches a mismatched speed-dating club for love-starved local yokels.

Overview
Ed is confused in the days following his and Bonnie`s tryst, as she is as cold as ever. He confronts her about it. Later, she apologizes, and they attempt to maintain their relationship. Carol and Ed share a heart-to-heart about the state of their relationship, including their feelings about Ed and Bonnie`s. Carol admits that she is not yet ready to date Ed herself, but that she is jealous when she sees him with Bonnie. Phil sets up a Love-a-torium in the bowling alley, to try and help lonely Stuckeyvillian hearts find their soulmates. When the idea nets only 3 participants, the odd man out is chosen by Phil as his personal project. With Shirley`s assistance, Phil tries to transform Chuck into a real ladies` man. Nancy convinces Ed to help the Reverend Carver, the minister at Stuckeyville`s Grace Church for the past 30 years. The Reverend is in danger of losing his job because church president and used car salesman Dick Knight feels there aren`t enough "butts in the seats". Ed first tries to help the Rev outside of court, but he finally takes the battle to a jury.

Songs "I Want To Know What Love Is" - Foreigner During Chuck`s speech atop Stuckeybowl`s shoe counter "Mr. Big Stuff" - Jean Knight Played at Stuckeybowl while Phil gives Chuck dating tips Sabre Dance - Khachaturian PLayed during the 20 second rotations at the Phil Stubbs Love-a-torium Trivia Dave Alert! Rev. Porter`s "Headlines" are a swipe at Dave`s late-night nemesis Jay Leno, who often reads newspaper headlines with poor or unintentionally funny grammar, followed by a punchline. Dave Alert! Phil teaches Chuck the proper way to assume a "Swedish" facial gesture; Dave used to send a cameraman into the streets of New York looking for Swedes and say, "You`ll know them by their facial expression." Ten Bucks Mike bets Ed can`t call the Reverend Carver "Padre". The message is delivered on a slip of paper, given to Ed by Nancy (Ed up $60). Legal Update Ed sues Grace Church`s president over the possible firing of Reverend Carver, a beloved Stuckeyvillian for 30 years. The jury decides that the reverend cannot be fired. Ed`s record in court is now 6-3 with 3 settlements. Stubbs Schemes Phil turns the bowling alley into a Love-a-torium, dedicated to assisting the lonely hearts out there to finding their soulmate.

Quotes "I'm sick of bowling." - Carol Vessey (when she asks Ed to go to the batting cages with her) "You're a prancer. You've got a bounce in your step that says 'Hey, look at me, I'm a cute little bunny!'" - Phil Stubbs (as he teaches Chuck to be a real babe-magnet) "I give you my personal guarantee that this is the single ugliest hat in Stuckeyville." - Bonnie Hane (on wearing the "hat of shame" when apologizing to Ed for her behavior) "Sexy... cool... brainiac... impish... mellow... cute... supercute... Swedish..." - Shirley Pifko (Calling off the facial expressions for Chuck to try out on Phil) "I'm sorry." - Ed Stevens (when Carol Vessey tells Ed she`s sick of him apologizing all the time) "Well, a hearty congratulations to the both of you." - Carol Vessey (on Ed`s confession that he and Bonnie slept together) "I say even if we marry other people, we still get together every week just to do it." - Ed Stevens (to Carol, as they talk about their relationship) Pop Culture References Jennifer Lopez Jack Nicholson Lee Majors Home Shopping Channel Archie and Jughead Ralph Waldo Emerson St. Valentine Robocop MASH (television show) "Bull Durham" Bert Blylevin